Enseñando español desde 1989

Parting is a serious injury for both women and men, but the latter often manage to mobilize and get out of a painful situation with less losses. Why are we experiencing a divorce so differently?

“Men are often


more prone to that, having survived the trauma of the divorce, consciously step further and not get stuck in the past,” said Teddy Ann Barry, lawyer for family law. – They better separate emotional impulses from the arguments of the mind, calculate the financial consequences, more calmly and rationally negotiate, due to which they reach the agreements that meet their interests «. How do they do it?

Rational decisions

“Women are less inclined to focus on situations that develops due to a divorce here and now,” Barry explains. – Instead, they mentally return to the past, trying to understand what led the family to the sad ending and how their life will take shape further.

Men are better concentrated at the current moment. Once having made a difficult decision to part, they rarely reflect on whether it was possible to avoid this, and are concerned about how to get out of the divorce process with minimal losses ”.

At the same time, they often use female weakness, directly or indirectly play on the emotional experiences of the ex -wife to achieve the desired result. As soon as a woman manages to cope with emotions and concentrate on practical tasks, the ability of a man to control the situation and turn it to their benefit inevitably decreases.

Understanding the financial situation

“Most of my male clients are more inclined to engage in strategic planning and investments, they are better aware of which of the spouses can claim what,” the expert notes. – Women are focused on the distribution of the monthly budget, but they do not always objectively see the whole financial picture. «.

Sometimes, it is husbands who make decisions on the choice of insurance companies, and wives often poorly represent the terms of contracts and obligations, which, after a divorce, can lie down on their shoulders. Barry believes that women should pay much more attention to these documents. Often financial payments, division of loans, debt situation, alimony – all this becomes a reason for conflicts. Because of this, a new profession even arose in many countries-a financial analyst of marriage processes.

Ideally, the parties should agree on everything and contact a specialist who will tell the optimal scenario of the division of property, mortgages and possible debts. If the former partner is not ready to act together, it is important to collect the most complete information about the financial situation and their rights.

The most profitable agreements

“Men are much more likely to win after the divorce proceedings,” the lawyer recalls. – Women, with their maternal instinct and often more responsibility to children, is more difficult to do. «. Men clearly understand how much time they are going to devote to work, travel and child, and the schedule of meetings with children is often compiled so as not to interfere with the professional and personal life of the father.

A woman, as a rule, puts the interests of the child at the forefront. “In my practice, there are frequent cases when a man insists on an equal footing that children spend with his father and mother. Due to this, their obligations to pay alimony are reduced, ”says Teddie Barry. – The woman agrees, but the ex -husband ceases to devote the time to the children and at the same time deprives her of material support. It is not easy to challenge the agreement.

Therefore, be sure to consult with professionals that you trust. And try to use male tactics if possible: to cooperate, but to defend your interests. Do not allow yourself to follow the lead of emotions and fatigue and agree to those conditions that can potentially be unprofitable «.

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